Wednesday, January 26, 2011
stuck :(
Hey fellow vixens, I'm creatively stuck. I was wondering if any of you could assist me. I'm thinking of doing some more "scenarios" to caps and, I was thinking that you could help. Send me a cap and I'll see if I can do it justice and come up with a "story" for it.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Predicament
"Honey?"
"What?"
"Honey."
"I said, what?"
"I mean, will honey do?"
"Uh......Oh," he said sheepishly.
"Chocolate sauce?"
"I don't know."
"What about vegetable oil? It will definitely make you slippery. It's kinda messy, though."
"I'm not sure what will work," he said, exasperated.
"Butter? At least you'll taste good!"
He looked down and sighed. "This has never happened to me before."
"Well, I've never seen it before," she said. "Should we try grease or oil from the garage?"
"Oh, God." he moaned. "This is embarrassing."
"I got it! Vaseline! That lubes all kinds of things," she said excitedly.
She proceeds to apply the vaseline and vigorously begins to rub.
"How's that feel? Is it working?" she asked.
"Mmmmm, that feels gooood!"
She continues to rub and he begins to wiggle and squirm.
"I feel it working. Rub a little more," he begs.
They both start to sweat from exertion.
"Just a little more," he moans, "I'm close......"
"Oh, yes. YES!" he says.
"Wow, it really does work!", she exclaimed. "Honey, do you want a towel?"
"No," he says "But I am going to kill the kids if they ever Super Glue my hands to my jeans again......"
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Robert E. Howard
Jan 22, 1906 - June 11, 1936
rehfoundation.org
howardworks.com
barbariankeep.com
rehupa.com
howardworks.com
barbariankeep.com
rehupa.com
The man was never truly appreciated during his lifetime.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I'm damn glad I didn't get that tattoo on my ass.......or anywhere else!
Sign of the times: Astrology story soars like a comet
If we had checked our horoscope, maybe we would have seen this coming: Astrology buffs who follow the stars don't like finding out that their world -- and sign -- might have changed.
YOUR REAL HOROSCOPE
Astrology buffs who follow the stars should be using these dates, reflecting where the stars currently are aligned (note: the days overlap because the periods don't begin and end at midnight): Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16. Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11. Pisces: March 11-April 18. Aries: April 18-May 13. Taurus: May 13-June 21. Gemini: June 21-July 20. Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10. Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16. Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30. Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23. Scorpio: Nov. 23-29. Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17. Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.
* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.
Source: Livescience.com
Related Content
If we had checked our horoscope, maybe we would have seen this coming.
A Star Tribune story about zodiac signs needing adjustment because of the Earth's "wobble" went viral Thursday, with postings at Yahoo News, Gawker, Fark, Twitter, Time.com and others sending thousands of people to the Star Tribune's website and creating a hectic day for a Minneapolis astronomer quoted in the story, Parke Kunkle.
"It's been an exhausting hoot," Kunkle said Thursday night, noting that his phone has been ringing constantly from media inquiries.
On Facebook and the comment sections of various websites that picked up the story, there is a mix of:
Defiance: "Parke Kunkle can take my Taurus sign from my cold, dead hands."
Delight: "Upgrade from Cancer to Gemini. Woo!"
Consternation: "If my zodiac symbol has been changed to a Libra, what am I supposed to do with my Scorpio tattoo?!?!"
There also was pushback from those in the astrological world, determined to hang on to the 31 percent of Americans who believe in astrology, according to a recent Harris Poll.
CNN blogger Jason Hanna talked to Jeff Jawer, an astrologer with Tarot.com. He said the article's premise -- that the sun doesn't align with the same constellations as it did millennia ago, when astrology first bubbled up -- is true, but irrelevant to his profession. The tropical zodiac "used in the Western world ... was never oriented to the constellations," Jawer told CNN.
Instead, Jawer said, tropical astrology is based on the seasonal equinoxes, as opposed to the constellation-based sidereal zodiac used in some Western and Hindu circles.
Some websites mistakenly attributed the hubbub to new "research" done by Kunkle, but he was just commenting, at the Star Tribune's request, to a posting by Robert Roy Britt at LiveScience (www.livescience.com/strangenews/etc/horoscope-2011-astrology-sign.html) about a subject that goes back thousands of years.
The ancient Babylonians based zodiac signs on the constellation the sun was "in" on the day a person was born. Tropical astronomy, devised by Ptolemy in 170 A.D., uses constellations, as well, but the period of time that the sun is "in" these constellations varies markedly from the dates in your daily horoscope.
And that's not even including the omission of Ophiuchus, which "hosts" the sun for more than twice as long as Scorpio. (See the accompanying calendar.)
Since the zodiac periods were established millennia ago, the moon's gravitational pull has made the Earth "wobble" around its axis in a process called precession. That has created about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment.
The result? "When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it's really not in Pisces," said Kunkle, a board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society.
Indeed, most horoscope readers who consider themselves Pisces are actually Aquarians. So instead of being sensitive, humane and idealistic, they actually are friendly, loyal and inventive.
There is no physical connection between constellations and personality traits, said Kunkle, who teaches astronomy at Minneapolis Community and Technical College. "Sure, we can connect harvest to the stars," he said. "But personality? No."
Astronomers have pooh-poohed astrology for centuries, but Kunkle hedged when asked if astrology can bring people to his science.
"Historically, people looked at the sky to understand the world around us," he said. "But today I don't think people who are into astrology look at the sky very much."
But they do look at horoscopes. And now they have an explanation for why a day might not have turned out exactly as predicted.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
intercourse: noun
dealings or communication between individuals, countries, etc.
(yeah right, we're really interested in this meaning)
sexual relations or a sexual coupling, especially coitus.
(now we're talking!!!!!)
dealings or communication between individuals, countries, etc.
(yeah right, we're really interested in this meaning)
sexual relations or a sexual coupling, especially coitus.
(now we're talking!!!!!)
Since we cum from different countries,
boff, shag
we cum from different languages,
fuck, screw
we cum from all corners of the world,
bang, nail
(I LOVE the word cum!)
we cum from various belief systems,
hump, bone
we cum from varying economies,
do, pound
we cum from assorted whatevers,
pork, bonk
(what else can I state so that I can keep using "cum"?)
we cum from different time zones,
mount, poke
we cum from opposites sides of the planet,
boink
we cum from different angles and positions,
cunnilingus (only we intellectual sorts use this one)
what term do you use when referring to the act of "cumming"?
boff, shag
we cum from different languages,
fuck, screw
we cum from all corners of the world,
bang, nail
(I LOVE the word cum!)
we cum from various belief systems,
hump, bone
we cum from varying economies,
do, pound
we cum from assorted whatevers,
pork, bonk
(what else can I state so that I can keep using "cum"?)
we cum from different time zones,
mount, poke
we cum from opposites sides of the planet,
boink
we cum from different angles and positions,
cunnilingus (only we intellectual sorts use this one)
what term do you use when referring to the act of "cumming"?
P.S. I inadvertently left out:
the nasty and,
D'noffing, noffing, and "the Vinny"
the nasty and,
D'noffing, noffing, and "the Vinny"
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
My mother taught me.....
1.My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Damn!
By PAUL KIRBY
Freeman staff
KINGSTON — City police stopped a 45-year-old man from killing himself after he watched a suicide scene in the Vietnam War movie “Full Metal Jacket,” Kingston Police Chief Gerald Keller said on Tuesday.
Keller said the man, whose name was not released, was trying take his own life with a rifle inside an apartment on Wilbur Avenue about 9:45 p.m. New Year’s Eve.
Keller said another man called police from inside the apartment and told officers his friend was “depressed” and intoxicated.
Keller said the suicidal man had watched a scene from the 1987 movie “Full Metal Jacket” in which the character played by Vincent D’Onofrio, now a Kingston-area resident, sits on a toilet, puts a rifle in his mouth and kills himself.
Police found the man sitting on a couch in the Wilbur Avenue apartment with the barrel a loaded .22-caliber rifle in his mouth, Keller said.
Officers sealed off the area around the apartment complex, forced their way into his apartment and convinced him to put down the weapon about 10 minutes later, Keller said.
The man was taken to Kingston Hospital for treatment, the chief said.
The incident was the second in recent weeks in which local police thwarted an apparent suicide attempt.
On Dec. 18, a town of Ulster police officer pulled a 40-year-old man off a railing on the Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge. The man apparently planned to plunge to his death in the Hudson River, some 200 feet below.
Freeman staff
KINGSTON — City police stopped a 45-year-old man from killing himself after he watched a suicide scene in the Vietnam War movie “Full Metal Jacket,” Kingston Police Chief Gerald Keller said on Tuesday.
Keller said the man, whose name was not released, was trying take his own life with a rifle inside an apartment on Wilbur Avenue about 9:45 p.m. New Year’s Eve.
Keller said another man called police from inside the apartment and told officers his friend was “depressed” and intoxicated.
Keller said the suicidal man had watched a scene from the 1987 movie “Full Metal Jacket” in which the character played by Vincent D’Onofrio, now a Kingston-area resident, sits on a toilet, puts a rifle in his mouth and kills himself.
Police found the man sitting on a couch in the Wilbur Avenue apartment with the barrel a loaded .22-caliber rifle in his mouth, Keller said.
Officers sealed off the area around the apartment complex, forced their way into his apartment and convinced him to put down the weapon about 10 minutes later, Keller said.
The man was taken to Kingston Hospital for treatment, the chief said.
The incident was the second in recent weeks in which local police thwarted an apparent suicide attempt.
On Dec. 18, a town of Ulster police officer pulled a 40-year-old man off a railing on the Kingston-Rhinecliff Bridge. The man apparently planned to plunge to his death in the Hudson River, some 200 feet below.
Vincent D'Onofrio in Studio!
Just strolling down memory lane........He's SO damn cute when he smiles!
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